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I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
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Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
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I\'m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Love is the answer - but while you\'re waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.
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I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
Any man who is under 30, and is not a liberal, has not heart; and any man who is over 30, and is not a conservative, has no brains.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
I hope life isn\'t a big joke ... because I don\'t get it.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
If a man does his best, what else is there?
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.
Research is what I\'m doing when I don\'t know what I\'m doing.
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Humor is just another defense against the universe.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
I never forget a face, but in your case I\'ll be glad to make an exception.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Am I lightheaded because I\'m not dead or because I\'m still alive?
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
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